Editorial: Usually, I avoid posting a comment about the topic of my poem, preferring to let the voice of the poem speak for itself. Today marks an exception. As tongues wag about Whitney Houston, and as someone who has been embroiled in several episodes of death, I ask people to be careful what they say to the survivors of the dead. There are they-said-that-she-said incidents involving Aretha Franklin about Whitney. People need to be quiet and let the bereaved mourn in peace. Because of intense pain, anything you say will be taken out of context. That is a given.
I was very angry with death as it was, but when people who called themselves my "friends" found themselves trying to sound wise at a very difficult time in my life with both my parents passing and losing my siblings, I cut off from them so that I could mourn in peace and save my sanity. Consequently, I changed my telephone number, moved out of where I lived, and lost all contact intentionally. Therefore, be very careful what you say to the bereaved. Anything you say will be taken out of context. Let silence speak for you.
****This posting is in honor and remembrance of my dead and in recognition of the two-week death anniversary of Whitney Houston.
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Be Careful
--My dream has loved paper so much for so long because it gave influence to the parched voice of a fashionista poet. Finding this outlet, that voice is now replete with expressive sound.
I was very angry with death as it was, but when people who called themselves my "friends" found themselves trying to sound wise at a very difficult time in my life with both my parents passing and losing my siblings, I cut off from them so that I could mourn in peace and save my sanity. Consequently, I changed my telephone number, moved out of where I lived, and lost all contact intentionally. Therefore, be very careful what you say to the bereaved. Anything you say will be taken out of context. Let silence speak for you.
****This posting is in honor and remembrance of my dead and in recognition of the two-week death anniversary of Whitney Houston.
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Be Careful
Be careful what you say to a bereaved
Who has lost someone dear
Be careful what you do to a bereaved
Who has lost someone much loved
Your presence more valuable
Than anything you could ever say
Being there more important
Than anything you could ever do
Please do not give lame consolations
About loved one being in a better place
Or going home or answering a call
Or the sun coming out tomorrow
Or being able to smile someday
Anger sufficient food to feed on
Anger sufficient clothing for warmth
Anger sufficient shelter to live in
Losing you because of what you say
Feels like nothing compared
To this pain that eats the inside
Asking you to leave with your flowers
Will douse the extra pain you caused
By your supposed compassion
Be on pins and needles, do you hear?
Sigh constantly with the overwhelming
Lack of appropriate words to utter
Practice empathy, shed a tear honestly
Give a hug, cook a meal, hold a hand
Stay till late, spend the night
Spend more time
Act like time froze in place
Do not talk about the living
Or fashion, goals, wealth, job
Close the mouth; open the ears
Listen to the consoling silence
Sigh constantly with the overwhelming
Lack of appropriate words to utter
But be careful what you say or do
To a bereaved who has lost someone
dear
©1997FrancesOhanenye
--My dream has loved paper so much for so long because it gave influence to the parched voice of a fashionista poet. Finding this outlet, that voice is now replete with expressive sound.
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